June 10, 2017
The day my Dad, 49 years old, left this Earth and went to Heaven. So many people ask all the time, did you know your Dad was depressed? My answer is no. He was not close to depressed. He was the happiest guy ever. What happened to him mentally is beyond depression, anxiety, manic, bipolar, etc. It’s hard to talk about my Dad taking his life, but my family does not hide one thing. If you lived in our house, you would know that two weeks before my Dad died, he helped me cope during a panic attack. My Dad was one of the most calm, level headed guys I know. I woke up Saturday without even knowing I didn’t have a Dad anymore. I would not wish the grieving process on anyone. One day I’m go-lucky happy, the next I’m angry because I see people out and about with their Dad’s and I don’t think it’s fair. My Dad would not want me to be angry at people so I try my best to have positive thoughts. Within the 17 days since my Dad died, I have taken care of his flowers, spent more time outside than I ever did. I pray constantly, we go and visit him, and I feel like I have aged to a grown adult who helps take on new responsibilities. If my Dad was still here, I would probably be taking my time with him for granted, I would go and take a nap, maybe even pick an argument with him. Never take a day for granted with you loved ones. I know my Dad loved my family and his friends. His laugh was so contagious. You heart sunk when you saw him down, he had the rosiest cheeks ever from being outside everyday, all day. He loved the outdoors. He loved landscaping. He loved to put his kids first, above everything else. He loved teaching us new things, sports, watch videos, movies, try to places to eat. If you knew my dad his soft presence would light up the room. He never let me give up. He always was there to cheer me on not just on the ice, but in life. I’ll miss my Dad so so much and each day just gets harder and harder, but I know my Dad would want me to keep on keeping on. And that’s what I’ll do.
For whatever reason you are reading this, live everyday like it’s your last.