Grief vs. The World

One simple, “how are you hanging in there?”, “how is today going?”, saying something is better than nothing. I struggle everyday with hurting so badly on the inside when the rest of the world is still going. I may look okay on the outside but there is a constant cloud over me wherever I go. I dodge people so I can run my errand and run right back home. Grief is grief, but it is also the worst.

I know there is no handbook to grief, what to say, what not to say, how to feel, how to cope… but life does go on clearly.

One day I hope to wake up, and know that with the undeniable struggles that life brings, there is some light in the world. Why do bad things happen? Why is life a bitch sometimes? Why am I being that one person who will openly admit “why me?”. I don’t feel bad for myself, I feel blah. I feel that I have mixed emotions and wish that when God had my Dad leave this Earth and go to Heaven that he left answers, and a handbook that had bullet points and a step by step list of what to do next.

If you have ever lost a loved one suddenly or not, maybe you feel that same way, maybe you don’t. I will never ever compare my grief to someone else’s. That is one thing I will never do, that’s just not fair. Life is life, and some days I will work on being the best person I can be, and some I will be that person in Target making a record timed trip just so I can get right back home to safety. That’s okay… right?

 

Oh well, if you are reading this, send some positive vibes my way… Lord knows I need it.

 

xoxo, Anna

One thought on “Grief vs. The World

  1. Sending positives vibes your way, Anna. It was so great to meet with you today. Thanks for making my day a little brighter. Xoxo ingrid

    Like

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